Friday, July 29, 2011
Clarification
From some of the things people have been "talking" to me about, I figured I should clarify a few things...mainly my reason for this blog. Now PLEASE all be aware...My back has been out for a week and I am SUPER pms-y. Thank you all for your finger violin solos! HA!!! I am not making excuses, but I wanted you all prepared in case I might come across as a TAD crabby ;-)
Now the reason I stared this blog was to help. Help me going through some difficult home school "issues" and to help other home schooling mom's who might be struggling with something and feeling all alone. I did not start this blog to open myself up for criticism, "advise", or opinions of what I need to do.
I know not everyone home schools, and not every one supports home schooling. I know that not every one who home schools does so to the best of their abilities. But for those of us who take home schooling our children seriously....we should not be condemned because there are some out there who don't. This is not a perfect world...there are some crappy parents out there, there are people who take advantage of welfare, there are people who home school, but do nothing for their kids. That does not mean that home schooling needs to be a police state, or government involved.
Not everyone is a Christian, so they might not agree with my reasons for home schooling, but as long as I do what God has called me to do, to the best of my ability, that is all I can do. I answer to God...not man! Now my girls do have a legitimate learning disability. It has nothing to do with how I have taught them...they would still be dyslexic had they been in the public school system! I don't understand how it is more acceptable for a child to have a learning disability because they were in "school" rather than home schooled.
Now I must add...I have had a lot of positive feed back, I have had a lot of support, and a lot of encouragement since starting this blog...but I guess it is human nature to focus on the bad rather than the good :-(
There is a good way to criticize, advise, and give your opinions...it is called RESPECT! We all need to respect others and their decision...if you agree with them or not. That way you can give CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and advise and your opinions and not offend the receiving person.
Now the reason I stared this blog was to help. Help me going through some difficult home school "issues" and to help other home schooling mom's who might be struggling with something and feeling all alone. I did not start this blog to open myself up for criticism, "advise", or opinions of what I need to do.
I know not everyone home schools, and not every one supports home schooling. I know that not every one who home schools does so to the best of their abilities. But for those of us who take home schooling our children seriously....we should not be condemned because there are some out there who don't. This is not a perfect world...there are some crappy parents out there, there are people who take advantage of welfare, there are people who home school, but do nothing for their kids. That does not mean that home schooling needs to be a police state, or government involved.
Not everyone is a Christian, so they might not agree with my reasons for home schooling, but as long as I do what God has called me to do, to the best of my ability, that is all I can do. I answer to God...not man! Now my girls do have a legitimate learning disability. It has nothing to do with how I have taught them...they would still be dyslexic had they been in the public school system! I don't understand how it is more acceptable for a child to have a learning disability because they were in "school" rather than home schooled.
Now I must add...I have had a lot of positive feed back, I have had a lot of support, and a lot of encouragement since starting this blog...but I guess it is human nature to focus on the bad rather than the good :-(
There is a good way to criticize, advise, and give your opinions...it is called RESPECT! We all need to respect others and their decision...if you agree with them or not. That way you can give CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and advise and your opinions and not offend the receiving person.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Next Step
Since I found out 2 of my girls are dyslexic...what have I done?
Well a TON of online research...which can get confusing. One site says one thing, another site says something different, then another site says something completely different than the other 2! AAAGGGHHH!!!! What is a person to do?
In our home school group...the day I was at my wits end with home schooling....I got an email from the group about a class here in town on different learning styles...mainly dyslexia. I thought like probably many of you, dyslexia is only transposing numbers and letters...I had no idea what it all entailed. That weekend I did so much online research on dyslexia. I found out that it is not just transposing letters and numbers. On all the sites (even with the contradictions) I saw all the symptoms of my oldest daughter. The light bulb went on and I called the lady Monday morning asking questions about this class. I didn't really talk much to her then, but she said she would mail me information on the class and the information on the guy who started this teaching method.
Upon getting the information on the class I looked up this guys website...www.dyslexia.com. On his site I saw he had 2 books that he wrote...The Gift of Dyslexia....and...The Gift of Learning (which is more about ADD, Math, and Handwriting problems). So of course I ordered those books! While waiting I searched this guy Ron Davis site. I found an online assessment you can take...so of course I took that for both Hunter and Logan. Now those are not "official" assessments, but it is a good starting point. Both Hunter and Logan ranged in the Moderate to Severe area. So after even MORE research and getting myself all worked up I called this lady again that teaches the class.
We talked and talked for hours (and she was on vacation...I felt so bad after I found that out) I told her what all I have been dealing with the past school year and all the frustrations and all my fears and she was so patient and reassuring...which is what I totally needed :-) She suggested getting the Gift of Dyslexia book (which I had already done.....my brilliance precedes me). A few days later I got the book!
OH MY GOODNESS! I read the one book in a day! I was SOOOOO into it and seeing Hunter in every page. I was excited and sad at the same time. Realizing what all she has been going through the past school year was so heart breaking. There is a section of this book I want to copy into this post...but I am so afraid of the legalities...so I am going to do my best to properly note it and everything...if you are a lawyer and I did something wrong please let me know ;-)
From the book The Gift of Dyslexia by Ronald D. Davis pgs 22-24
To put the puzzle pieces together, let's look at a typical scenario of a dyslexic child trying to read aloud.
A simple sentence like the one below would be easy to read for a ten-year-old who thinks with the sounds of words. But for a ten-year-old dyslexic who constructs mental pictures of the scene as each word is read, the process is more difficult.
The brown horse jumped over the stone fence and ran through the pasture.
For the ten-year-old dyslexic, the first word, THE, caused the mental imagery to go bland, because there was no picture for it. A blank picture is the essence of confusion; nothing a person experiences can match the confusion it causes. Using concentration, however, the child pushes past the blank picture and says "the" and forces himself to skip to the next word.
The word BROWN produces a mental image of a color, but it has no defined shape. Continuing to concentrate, the says "brown".
The word HORSE transforms the brown picture into a horse of that color. Concentration continues and "horse" is said.
The word JUMPED causes the front of the brown horse to rise into the air. He continues concentrating as he says "jumped".
The word OVER causes the back of the brown horse to rise. Still concentrating, he says "over".
The next word, anther THE, causes the picture to go blank again. confusion for the reader has increased, but the threshold of confusion has not yet been reached. He must now double his concentration so he can push on to the next work. In doing so, he may or may not omit saying "the".
The word STONE produces a picture of a rock. With concentration doubled, he says "stone".
The next word, FENCE, turns the rock into a rock fence. Still with doubled concentration, he says "fence".
The next word, AND, blanks out the picture again. This time, the threshold for confusion is reached. So the child becomes disoriented. The child is stopped again, more confused, doubly concentrating, and now disoriented. The only way he can continue is to increase his concentration effort. But now because he is also disoriented, the dyslexic symptoms will appear. It is very likely that he will omit saying the word AND, or just as likely that he will substitute A, AN or THE instead. At this point, he is no longer getting an accurate perception of the words on the page.
He is now expending a tremendous amount of effort and energy on concentrating, just to continue.
The next word, RAN, because he is now disoriented, is altered into the word RUNS. He sees an image of himself running, entirely unrelated to the picture of the hovering horse. Then he says "runs".
The word THROUGH is altered into THROWS. He sees himself throwing a ball and says "throws".
The next word, THE, blanks out the picture again. The child is stopped again, even more confused, and still disoriented. His only recourse is to quadruple his concentration. In doing so, he omits saying "the".
By now his disorientation has created a feeling like dizziness. He is feeling sick to his stomach, and the words and letters are swimming around on the page.
For the last word, PASTURE, he must track down each letter, one at a time, so he can sound out the word. Once he does, he sees a picture of a grassy place. Even though he is disoriented, because of the extra effort and energy he put forth in catching and sounding out each letter, he says it right, "pasture".
Having completed the sentence, he closes the book and pushes it away. That's enough of that!
When asked what he just read, he is likely to answer with something like "a place where grass grows." He has a picture of a horse in the air, a stone fence, himself playing ball and a grassy place, but cannot relate the separate elements in the sentence to form a mental image of the scene described.
To everyone who saw or heard him read the sentence or heard his answer to what it was about, it is obvious that he didn't understand any of what he just read. As for him, he doesn't care that he didn't understand it. He's just thankful that he survived the ordeal of reading out loud.
Now I know that was a long thing to read (and type out) but it is EXACTLY how Hunter reads. Once I read that...another light bulb went off in my head...and another guilt/sadness of knowing she feels like that :-( Every time we read she gets a stomach ache..she skips words, she adds words...it is WAY more than just transposing letters and numbers!
Since this post is so long...I will end here for now...but don't fret...I have TONS more to share ;-)
Well a TON of online research...which can get confusing. One site says one thing, another site says something different, then another site says something completely different than the other 2! AAAGGGHHH!!!! What is a person to do?
In our home school group...the day I was at my wits end with home schooling....I got an email from the group about a class here in town on different learning styles...mainly dyslexia. I thought like probably many of you, dyslexia is only transposing numbers and letters...I had no idea what it all entailed. That weekend I did so much online research on dyslexia. I found out that it is not just transposing letters and numbers. On all the sites (even with the contradictions) I saw all the symptoms of my oldest daughter. The light bulb went on and I called the lady Monday morning asking questions about this class. I didn't really talk much to her then, but she said she would mail me information on the class and the information on the guy who started this teaching method.
Upon getting the information on the class I looked up this guys website...www.dyslexia.com. On his site I saw he had 2 books that he wrote...The Gift of Dyslexia....and...The Gift of Learning (which is more about ADD, Math, and Handwriting problems). So of course I ordered those books! While waiting I searched this guy Ron Davis site. I found an online assessment you can take...so of course I took that for both Hunter and Logan. Now those are not "official" assessments, but it is a good starting point. Both Hunter and Logan ranged in the Moderate to Severe area. So after even MORE research and getting myself all worked up I called this lady again that teaches the class.
We talked and talked for hours (and she was on vacation...I felt so bad after I found that out) I told her what all I have been dealing with the past school year and all the frustrations and all my fears and she was so patient and reassuring...which is what I totally needed :-) She suggested getting the Gift of Dyslexia book (which I had already done.....my brilliance precedes me). A few days later I got the book!
OH MY GOODNESS! I read the one book in a day! I was SOOOOO into it and seeing Hunter in every page. I was excited and sad at the same time. Realizing what all she has been going through the past school year was so heart breaking. There is a section of this book I want to copy into this post...but I am so afraid of the legalities...so I am going to do my best to properly note it and everything...if you are a lawyer and I did something wrong please let me know ;-)
From the book The Gift of Dyslexia by Ronald D. Davis pgs 22-24
To put the puzzle pieces together, let's look at a typical scenario of a dyslexic child trying to read aloud.
A simple sentence like the one below would be easy to read for a ten-year-old who thinks with the sounds of words. But for a ten-year-old dyslexic who constructs mental pictures of the scene as each word is read, the process is more difficult.
The brown horse jumped over the stone fence and ran through the pasture.
For the ten-year-old dyslexic, the first word, THE, caused the mental imagery to go bland, because there was no picture for it. A blank picture is the essence of confusion; nothing a person experiences can match the confusion it causes. Using concentration, however, the child pushes past the blank picture and says "the" and forces himself to skip to the next word.
The word BROWN produces a mental image of a color, but it has no defined shape. Continuing to concentrate, the says "brown".
The word HORSE transforms the brown picture into a horse of that color. Concentration continues and "horse" is said.
The word JUMPED causes the front of the brown horse to rise into the air. He continues concentrating as he says "jumped".
The word OVER causes the back of the brown horse to rise. Still concentrating, he says "over".
The next word, anther THE, causes the picture to go blank again. confusion for the reader has increased, but the threshold of confusion has not yet been reached. He must now double his concentration so he can push on to the next work. In doing so, he may or may not omit saying "the".
The word STONE produces a picture of a rock. With concentration doubled, he says "stone".
The next word, FENCE, turns the rock into a rock fence. Still with doubled concentration, he says "fence".
The next word, AND, blanks out the picture again. This time, the threshold for confusion is reached. So the child becomes disoriented. The child is stopped again, more confused, doubly concentrating, and now disoriented. The only way he can continue is to increase his concentration effort. But now because he is also disoriented, the dyslexic symptoms will appear. It is very likely that he will omit saying the word AND, or just as likely that he will substitute A, AN or THE instead. At this point, he is no longer getting an accurate perception of the words on the page.
He is now expending a tremendous amount of effort and energy on concentrating, just to continue.
The next word, RAN, because he is now disoriented, is altered into the word RUNS. He sees an image of himself running, entirely unrelated to the picture of the hovering horse. Then he says "runs".
The word THROUGH is altered into THROWS. He sees himself throwing a ball and says "throws".
The next word, THE, blanks out the picture again. The child is stopped again, even more confused, and still disoriented. His only recourse is to quadruple his concentration. In doing so, he omits saying "the".
By now his disorientation has created a feeling like dizziness. He is feeling sick to his stomach, and the words and letters are swimming around on the page.
For the last word, PASTURE, he must track down each letter, one at a time, so he can sound out the word. Once he does, he sees a picture of a grassy place. Even though he is disoriented, because of the extra effort and energy he put forth in catching and sounding out each letter, he says it right, "pasture".
Having completed the sentence, he closes the book and pushes it away. That's enough of that!
When asked what he just read, he is likely to answer with something like "a place where grass grows." He has a picture of a horse in the air, a stone fence, himself playing ball and a grassy place, but cannot relate the separate elements in the sentence to form a mental image of the scene described.
To everyone who saw or heard him read the sentence or heard his answer to what it was about, it is obvious that he didn't understand any of what he just read. As for him, he doesn't care that he didn't understand it. He's just thankful that he survived the ordeal of reading out loud.
Now I know that was a long thing to read (and type out) but it is EXACTLY how Hunter reads. Once I read that...another light bulb went off in my head...and another guilt/sadness of knowing she feels like that :-( Every time we read she gets a stomach ache..she skips words, she adds words...it is WAY more than just transposing letters and numbers!
Since this post is so long...I will end here for now...but don't fret...I have TONS more to share ;-)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
My kids are Dyslexic...Now what???
Well I am finally starting to blog about this...the whole reason I decided to start blogging. A few months ago I was struck with the realization that 2 of my 3 girls have a learning disability. (the 3rd we are not sure about yet). I had a total emotional break down! But I figured I needed to start with a little back story!
My husband has ADD/ADHD and is dyslexic. I have known this for a LONG time. I have always feared one of my kids would be dyslexic. Now my middle daughter of course is ADD! I always tell people she is cursed with the worst traits from both her parents. She gets her dads ADD and TEMPER (all of you who know me know I have no such temper! HA) and she gets my OCD and perfectionism...which is a VERY rough mixture...for everyone in the house :-) She is a GREAT kid though and VERY loving (she gets that from me!) I had always thought Logan would be the one who is severe dyslexic. She was assessed and is dyslexic, but not SEVERE...Like Hunter!
From all the research I have been doing I have found that dyslexic people are VERY successful and VERY brilliant! I have also discovered that dyslexia is not a BAD thing. It is just a different learning style! They are more creative, and see things 3 dimensionally. Which to me seems totally cool! Funny thing is that my husband, a dyslexic, is a 3D graphic artist :-)
Now those of you who know me know I am NOT a creative thinker by any means. I am not crafty and am VERY logical and black and white kind of thinking (now you probably will never hear me admit this again...and don't tell my husband...although I am sure he knows this!) I HATED playing dolls and barbies as a kid...making the dolls talk back and forth made absolutely no sense to me...it was totally stupid...they were not actually talking, they are plastic dolls! So I have NO imagination and NO creativity...so how in the world am I going to help these creative, imaginative kids succeed????
Now, I totally LOVE watching my girls play. Logan especially! She totally leaves this world and is transported to her land of unicorns and fairies, and whatever goes on in her head! I totally envy it at times! She flies around the room and is oblivious to her surroundings! Also watching this girl do a puzzle is beyond my capability. Now..puzzles...doesn't EVERYONE do the edges first? Then fill in the middle? That is the way you are SUPPOSED to do it right? Just common sense...to me :-) Logan just picks up a piece and looks at the picture and puts the piece where it is supposed to go....then she picks up another piece, looks at the picture and puts it where it is supposed to go! TOTALLY BLOWS MY MIND! Logan also does what some call "mirror writing" where she writes perfectly backward...so if you held it up to the mirror you can read it! AWESOME! I am told this is a sign of genius (must be from mom)!
So, how did I come to these realizations? And what am I going to do about it?
Well first of all, Hunter (my oldest) just completed 3rd grade. From all the research, I found 3rd grade is when the symptoms of dyslexia seem to surface. This past school year she really struggled and we had MANY frustrating days. I first noticed with math...she would verbally answer 16 but write 61 on her paper. Then she had a review page...counting by 10's and they gave her the first number...5. Now she verbally said 5, 15, 25, 35...but she wrote 5, 51, 52, 53...! Now of course I stopped her and we erased and re-wrote them the correct way (which now I wish I had not done as everyone wants to see her school work) She also struggled greatly with spelling, which Allan is a HORRIBLE speller, so I just thought she was just going to be a HORRIBLE speller. I didn't realize spelling had anything to do with dyslexia! I never really knew what dyslexia was except transposing letters and numbers!
Now Hunter has always struggled with reading from the start. I would talk to friends and family and everyone would say.."don't worry, one day it will click and she will be fine!" Which I guess is good advise...I know kids all learn at different times and different levels, but completing 3rd grade, she should be reading MUCH better than she was. She mixed up a lot of things...was/saw, put/but, resume/remuse, going/doing, ever/never, every/very...! She also would put words in a sentence that were in different parts of the page, and she never really understood what all she was reading! She would read 1 page perfectly, then mess up the same words on the next page! OH YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW FRUSTRATING THIS WAS!!! It was like every time we read it was the first time! I ended up taking her to the eye doctor thinking maybe it was something with her glasses...and he told me "she is just being lazy, lets just up her prescription and see how she does!" I told him of my concerns about dyslexia and he really shot me down!
Now after realizing all this of course I was over flooded with guilt! All the times I yelled at her for not remembering things, and all the frustrations we shared! I felt SOOOOO guilty :-( What a HORRIBLE mom I am...or so I felt! I also struggled with my home schooling methods and abilities. Satan really knows how to get to me :-( If 2 of my 3 kids (so far) are having trouble...it MUST be something I am doing, or not doing! So I was so ready to stick them in school...before I figured out the dyslexia issues. Of course it would be SO much easier if they were in school, and then if they failed I would have someone else to blame :-) Perfectly sound thinking right? LOL...of course Satan will make anything sound right when trying to get you to stray from God's calling!
Now this post seems to be getting lengthy, and I am hoping it all makes sense as I have SO much to talk about :-) I have started a journal so I won't forget anything and so I will have stuff to show the "professionals" when they want to see things or have questions :-) I have also started keeping some of Hunter's work...un-corrected! I am also signed up for a class here in town, Aug. 2 and 3, on different teaching methods. The lady I have been talking to leads the class, and seems very supportive and helpful. Very optimistic, which I needed as I started my breakdown! God really has provided people right when I need them :-)
I still struggle with doubts and fears...James 1:6b for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. Boy do I feel like that often...back and forth over these fears and feelings. I just ordered a book from Proverbs 31 Ministries...A Confident Heart...and I am hoping to work on these doubts and such :-) One would think if you are doing God's will it will all be easy and fall into place...RIGHT!!!! LOL...I know in the end it will all be worth it...and who better to help my girls than their mom?
I also wanted to add a side note about my husband....He has struggled with ADD/ADHD and dyslexia for a long time. I see him as an adult struggling still...and I just don't want my girls to have to struggle with this their whole lives! I want them to be able to overcome these things and lead a fulfilling and successful life...not saying that my husband doesn't lead a fulfilling and successful life(he has me!)...but he struggles daily with these issues! As a kid in school they just drugged him up with Riddlin and shoved him in a corner! How sad! I know the medication does help people, but they never took the time to HELP Allan :-( I am praying this class will give me the tools to help my girls, but also Allan!
My husband has ADD/ADHD and is dyslexic. I have known this for a LONG time. I have always feared one of my kids would be dyslexic. Now my middle daughter of course is ADD! I always tell people she is cursed with the worst traits from both her parents. She gets her dads ADD and TEMPER (all of you who know me know I have no such temper! HA) and she gets my OCD and perfectionism...which is a VERY rough mixture...for everyone in the house :-) She is a GREAT kid though and VERY loving (she gets that from me!) I had always thought Logan would be the one who is severe dyslexic. She was assessed and is dyslexic, but not SEVERE...Like Hunter!
From all the research I have been doing I have found that dyslexic people are VERY successful and VERY brilliant! I have also discovered that dyslexia is not a BAD thing. It is just a different learning style! They are more creative, and see things 3 dimensionally. Which to me seems totally cool! Funny thing is that my husband, a dyslexic, is a 3D graphic artist :-)
Now those of you who know me know I am NOT a creative thinker by any means. I am not crafty and am VERY logical and black and white kind of thinking (now you probably will never hear me admit this again...and don't tell my husband...although I am sure he knows this!) I HATED playing dolls and barbies as a kid...making the dolls talk back and forth made absolutely no sense to me...it was totally stupid...they were not actually talking, they are plastic dolls! So I have NO imagination and NO creativity...so how in the world am I going to help these creative, imaginative kids succeed????
Now, I totally LOVE watching my girls play. Logan especially! She totally leaves this world and is transported to her land of unicorns and fairies, and whatever goes on in her head! I totally envy it at times! She flies around the room and is oblivious to her surroundings! Also watching this girl do a puzzle is beyond my capability. Now..puzzles...doesn't EVERYONE do the edges first? Then fill in the middle? That is the way you are SUPPOSED to do it right? Just common sense...to me :-) Logan just picks up a piece and looks at the picture and puts the piece where it is supposed to go....then she picks up another piece, looks at the picture and puts it where it is supposed to go! TOTALLY BLOWS MY MIND! Logan also does what some call "mirror writing" where she writes perfectly backward...so if you held it up to the mirror you can read it! AWESOME! I am told this is a sign of genius (must be from mom)!
So, how did I come to these realizations? And what am I going to do about it?
Well first of all, Hunter (my oldest) just completed 3rd grade. From all the research, I found 3rd grade is when the symptoms of dyslexia seem to surface. This past school year she really struggled and we had MANY frustrating days. I first noticed with math...she would verbally answer 16 but write 61 on her paper. Then she had a review page...counting by 10's and they gave her the first number...5. Now she verbally said 5, 15, 25, 35...but she wrote 5, 51, 52, 53...! Now of course I stopped her and we erased and re-wrote them the correct way (which now I wish I had not done as everyone wants to see her school work) She also struggled greatly with spelling, which Allan is a HORRIBLE speller, so I just thought she was just going to be a HORRIBLE speller. I didn't realize spelling had anything to do with dyslexia! I never really knew what dyslexia was except transposing letters and numbers!
Now Hunter has always struggled with reading from the start. I would talk to friends and family and everyone would say.."don't worry, one day it will click and she will be fine!" Which I guess is good advise...I know kids all learn at different times and different levels, but completing 3rd grade, she should be reading MUCH better than she was. She mixed up a lot of things...was/saw, put/but, resume/remuse, going/doing, ever/never, every/very...! She also would put words in a sentence that were in different parts of the page, and she never really understood what all she was reading! She would read 1 page perfectly, then mess up the same words on the next page! OH YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW FRUSTRATING THIS WAS!!! It was like every time we read it was the first time! I ended up taking her to the eye doctor thinking maybe it was something with her glasses...and he told me "she is just being lazy, lets just up her prescription and see how she does!" I told him of my concerns about dyslexia and he really shot me down!
Now after realizing all this of course I was over flooded with guilt! All the times I yelled at her for not remembering things, and all the frustrations we shared! I felt SOOOOO guilty :-( What a HORRIBLE mom I am...or so I felt! I also struggled with my home schooling methods and abilities. Satan really knows how to get to me :-( If 2 of my 3 kids (so far) are having trouble...it MUST be something I am doing, or not doing! So I was so ready to stick them in school...before I figured out the dyslexia issues. Of course it would be SO much easier if they were in school, and then if they failed I would have someone else to blame :-) Perfectly sound thinking right? LOL...of course Satan will make anything sound right when trying to get you to stray from God's calling!
Now this post seems to be getting lengthy, and I am hoping it all makes sense as I have SO much to talk about :-) I have started a journal so I won't forget anything and so I will have stuff to show the "professionals" when they want to see things or have questions :-) I have also started keeping some of Hunter's work...un-corrected! I am also signed up for a class here in town, Aug. 2 and 3, on different teaching methods. The lady I have been talking to leads the class, and seems very supportive and helpful. Very optimistic, which I needed as I started my breakdown! God really has provided people right when I need them :-)
I still struggle with doubts and fears...James 1:6b for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. Boy do I feel like that often...back and forth over these fears and feelings. I just ordered a book from Proverbs 31 Ministries...A Confident Heart...and I am hoping to work on these doubts and such :-) One would think if you are doing God's will it will all be easy and fall into place...RIGHT!!!! LOL...I know in the end it will all be worth it...and who better to help my girls than their mom?
I also wanted to add a side note about my husband....He has struggled with ADD/ADHD and dyslexia for a long time. I see him as an adult struggling still...and I just don't want my girls to have to struggle with this their whole lives! I want them to be able to overcome these things and lead a fulfilling and successful life...not saying that my husband doesn't lead a fulfilling and successful life(he has me!)...but he struggles daily with these issues! As a kid in school they just drugged him up with Riddlin and shoved him in a corner! How sad! I know the medication does help people, but they never took the time to HELP Allan :-( I am praying this class will give me the tools to help my girls, but also Allan!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Bullies at Church Camp? REALLY???
Well after 2 days of crying and stomach aches, Hunter finally broke down and told me what was bothering her. As a mom, I totally know my girls, and I know when something is bothering them. I knew it was more than her just missing me! So finally yesterday afternoon through sobs and a horrible stomach ache, she confided in me. I don't mean to publicize her problem, but this is our first dealing with bullying and I am really not quite sure how to handle it all.
I guess while at camp there was this girl...who did not attend our church, but was from a different church ( So I felt better about this situation knowing it was not going to be a weekly thing that Hunter would have to deal with). This girl was younger than Hunter (well in a lower grade, but might not have been younger in age). She had told Hunter to carry all her luggage to her cabin....why I have no idea! But Hunter told her no. This girl proceeded to tell Hunter she was STUPID (which is a bad word in our house) and twisted her arm :-( My heart BROKE hearing her tell me this through her sobs! Now luckily for Hunter her friend was there with her and took care of her and took her away from this girl. I am so blessed that Hunter has some really good friends who will watch out for her :-)
Now the second incident was by a girl who WAS from our church...close to the same age, but in a lower grade. Now this little girl has been to our house and played....sleepovers...very sweet little girl. I hear that she was a tad of trouble at camp, and I know it was not an attack against Hunter personally, but she screamed at Hunter and told her she was an IDIOT! Again my heart broke!
Now some of you know that Hunter has had a rough year this past year (3rd grade)...and a lot of you don't. It was the main reason for starting this blog in the first place. I know I have made a few hints about a later post and such :-) I was trying to wait a little bit longer, but I think it will help with this bullying and my struggles with how to handle it.
After a VERY frustrating year of home schooling with Hunter...and seeing her struggle more than normal with school this past year...I started doing some research! Those of you who know me well know how OCD I can get :-) I spent WEEKS up late on the internet, talking to friends, talking to more mature home schooling parents, talking to "professionals" and such. After all this research, and knowing my husbands history, I had Hunter and Logan assessed for Dyslexia! I am still planning a later post...probably next week...to go over this more in depth. How I came to figure it all out and such....but for now...for this post...both Hunter and Logan are dyslexic...Hunter is considered severe dyslexic. I am going to be taking a class the beginning of August that will help me learn to teach them the way they need to be taught I am super excited about this class and very excited to share all this with you! (Like I said before I have MUCH wisdom and knowledge to share with EVERYONE!)
Now back to this whole bullying problem. Over the past months I have seen Hunter struggle with playing with her friends...just seeing the look on her face, that she is not at the same level as her friends. Now I am by no means saying she is stupid or slow...but the look in her eyes was that of "I'm stupid"...which totally broke my heart...knowing she felt this way...which is when I started on my quest of trying to help her. Those who know Hunter knows she is VERY intelligent and super smart. And even talking to the professional who assessed the girls...she told me by no means hold her back a year (which I was considering) because she is so intelligent...it would hurt her more than help her if I held her back. So we are working on a 4th grade plan for her with a few adjustments to some subjects...again getting ahead of myself.
But with these 2 comments of her being stupid and an idiot really really hurt her deeply...which breaks my heart! I am at a loss on how to help her. I talked to her about how God sees her and how beautiful and smart she is. I told her that sometimes people are just mean and sometimes friends hurt your feelings. Now the 1 girl does go to our church and was considered her "friend". So how do we deal with this? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. I know she needs to learn how to handle this and I can't always just call up the girls mom's and such...but what does a mom do to guide her daughter in the godly way to handle situations like this? I know this is a learning experience for both of us...but with learning to deal with this learning disability and her knowing she is not up to par with her friends...I am just afraid to do more damage :-)
I guess while at camp there was this girl...who did not attend our church, but was from a different church ( So I felt better about this situation knowing it was not going to be a weekly thing that Hunter would have to deal with). This girl was younger than Hunter (well in a lower grade, but might not have been younger in age). She had told Hunter to carry all her luggage to her cabin....why I have no idea! But Hunter told her no. This girl proceeded to tell Hunter she was STUPID (which is a bad word in our house) and twisted her arm :-( My heart BROKE hearing her tell me this through her sobs! Now luckily for Hunter her friend was there with her and took care of her and took her away from this girl. I am so blessed that Hunter has some really good friends who will watch out for her :-)
Now the second incident was by a girl who WAS from our church...close to the same age, but in a lower grade. Now this little girl has been to our house and played....sleepovers...very sweet little girl. I hear that she was a tad of trouble at camp, and I know it was not an attack against Hunter personally, but she screamed at Hunter and told her she was an IDIOT! Again my heart broke!
Now some of you know that Hunter has had a rough year this past year (3rd grade)...and a lot of you don't. It was the main reason for starting this blog in the first place. I know I have made a few hints about a later post and such :-) I was trying to wait a little bit longer, but I think it will help with this bullying and my struggles with how to handle it.
After a VERY frustrating year of home schooling with Hunter...and seeing her struggle more than normal with school this past year...I started doing some research! Those of you who know me well know how OCD I can get :-) I spent WEEKS up late on the internet, talking to friends, talking to more mature home schooling parents, talking to "professionals" and such. After all this research, and knowing my husbands history, I had Hunter and Logan assessed for Dyslexia! I am still planning a later post...probably next week...to go over this more in depth. How I came to figure it all out and such....but for now...for this post...both Hunter and Logan are dyslexic...Hunter is considered severe dyslexic. I am going to be taking a class the beginning of August that will help me learn to teach them the way they need to be taught I am super excited about this class and very excited to share all this with you! (Like I said before I have MUCH wisdom and knowledge to share with EVERYONE!)
Now back to this whole bullying problem. Over the past months I have seen Hunter struggle with playing with her friends...just seeing the look on her face, that she is not at the same level as her friends. Now I am by no means saying she is stupid or slow...but the look in her eyes was that of "I'm stupid"...which totally broke my heart...knowing she felt this way...which is when I started on my quest of trying to help her. Those who know Hunter knows she is VERY intelligent and super smart. And even talking to the professional who assessed the girls...she told me by no means hold her back a year (which I was considering) because she is so intelligent...it would hurt her more than help her if I held her back. So we are working on a 4th grade plan for her with a few adjustments to some subjects...again getting ahead of myself.
But with these 2 comments of her being stupid and an idiot really really hurt her deeply...which breaks my heart! I am at a loss on how to help her. I talked to her about how God sees her and how beautiful and smart she is. I told her that sometimes people are just mean and sometimes friends hurt your feelings. Now the 1 girl does go to our church and was considered her "friend". So how do we deal with this? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. I know she needs to learn how to handle this and I can't always just call up the girls mom's and such...but what does a mom do to guide her daughter in the godly way to handle situations like this? I know this is a learning experience for both of us...but with learning to deal with this learning disability and her knowing she is not up to par with her friends...I am just afraid to do more damage :-)
Friday, July 15, 2011
My world is right again
Just thought I would post an update! My beautiful Hunter got home around 10 PM last night! It was SOOOO wonderful to see her :-) My hubby ended up giving up his spot on the bed and slept on the couch so she could snuggle with me. We were up super late as she chatted and chatted about all the fun stuff she did. It was an AWESOME bonding time!
Today we have a fun "spa" day planned. I made an appointment for 2 of the girls to get their hair done and all 3 to get mani/pedi's! They are super excited! I am just so happy she is home and we are back to our family :-) I never realized how much of a difference 1 kid out of the loop would make!
Best thing she told me last night "I had a good time mom, but I am SO happy to be home!" I am glad she was able to have a good time. She told me she was a bit home sick, but her 1 friend helped her...that makes me so happy that she has a friend that would help her through such a rough time!
Well just a quick post today. I wanted you all to know she got home safely and is healthy...besides a belly ache from being upset! God really came through and helped me through a really rough week! PRAISING GOD!!!!
Today we have a fun "spa" day planned. I made an appointment for 2 of the girls to get their hair done and all 3 to get mani/pedi's! They are super excited! I am just so happy she is home and we are back to our family :-) I never realized how much of a difference 1 kid out of the loop would make!
Best thing she told me last night "I had a good time mom, but I am SO happy to be home!" I am glad she was able to have a good time. She told me she was a bit home sick, but her 1 friend helped her...that makes me so happy that she has a friend that would help her through such a rough time!
Well just a quick post today. I wanted you all to know she got home safely and is healthy...besides a belly ache from being upset! God really came through and helped me through a really rough week! PRAISING GOD!!!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I will survive (hey hey)
Sorry, as I typed that title, that Aretha Franklin song just popped into my head ;-) Then I decided to look up the lyrics and found some of them really fit to how I was feeling...
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side,
LOL...Now if I were a bit wittier I would come up with my own lyrics for the rest of the song to go along with missing my girl while she is at camp, and God getting me through it ;-) (side note...is wittier a word? or would it be more witty?) LOL...as we go along in the posts you will notice I have my own language to some degree...my husband always makes fun of me because he THINKS I make up words...although I think they are perfectly good words and make a lot of sense...maybe soon we will all be buying the Onderick Dictionary!
I must say the past 4 days have been SUPER hard! Everyone here has missed Hunter SOOOOO much. Her younger sisters have woken up in the morning crying because she is not in her bed. I have been up late nights worrying about her having fun, being ok, blah blah blah. Although each day has gotten a tad easier. Probably knowing she is coming home tonight helps a bit too!
With these past 4 days of stress and worry, I have decided a few things...some good some bad! As I posted before, I realized my walk with God seems to be stronger when I am going through a certain "issue" of some sort. Although it is good to go to God for these "issues" I feel guilty that I am not as passionate and searching HIM regularly. I really need to fix that! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated ;-)
I have also found myself yet a "freak" again during all this. And some friends were not as supportive as I would have hoped. I know they try to make me feel better, and as I said before I CAN be a TAD sarcastic, so maybe they were trying to help sarcastically...not quite sure! I am not sure if it is "weird" that my child is 9 and never been away from home....but for some they have already gone through it...I thought those friends would have been a bit more sympathetic and helpful. I have had a few hurtful comments the past few days about Hunter being away and such. Lets just all remember...everyone goes through different stages of life at different times. I have never worked since I have had kids...I am with them 24/7. I have never traveled without them, I am not happy to send them away with friends...does that make me a "freak"? To love my kids and want to be with them? ( I am sure this will bite me in the butt when they go off to college too)
Now I must admit...I have been a TINY BIT emotional through all this...so I might be taking things wrong...and they might just be joking and sarcastic...which I usually can take :-) But I must say my feelings have been a bit hurt :-(
But that is okay...Hunter comes home today and we are all SUPER HAPPY here! I am praising God for getting me through this rough time. I have learned so many things...Even though my friends didn't come through as I expected...GOD DID! HE always does :-) That makes me super happy...even though I might not have been as faithful the past few months with my quiet times and bible readings and alone time with God...HE still came through for me!
SO....I WILL SURVIVE! With God by my side!
PS....yesterday was my 10 year wedding anniversary with my best friend of 22 years :-) God has blessed me SO much with a wonderful husband...he is really great and helpful and a lot of fun! We ended up taking the other 2 girls to Sioux Falls for an afternoon of shopping at the mall and dinner at Olive Garden....to those of you who know we are on a strict 30 day diet...we totally broke it last night! I must say I feel a bit BLAH today, but we had a ton of fun, so it was all worth it....I did an extra workout this morning too to help ;-)
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side,
LOL...Now if I were a bit wittier I would come up with my own lyrics for the rest of the song to go along with missing my girl while she is at camp, and God getting me through it ;-) (side note...is wittier a word? or would it be more witty?) LOL...as we go along in the posts you will notice I have my own language to some degree...my husband always makes fun of me because he THINKS I make up words...although I think they are perfectly good words and make a lot of sense...maybe soon we will all be buying the Onderick Dictionary!
I must say the past 4 days have been SUPER hard! Everyone here has missed Hunter SOOOOO much. Her younger sisters have woken up in the morning crying because she is not in her bed. I have been up late nights worrying about her having fun, being ok, blah blah blah. Although each day has gotten a tad easier. Probably knowing she is coming home tonight helps a bit too!
With these past 4 days of stress and worry, I have decided a few things...some good some bad! As I posted before, I realized my walk with God seems to be stronger when I am going through a certain "issue" of some sort. Although it is good to go to God for these "issues" I feel guilty that I am not as passionate and searching HIM regularly. I really need to fix that! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated ;-)
I have also found myself yet a "freak" again during all this. And some friends were not as supportive as I would have hoped. I know they try to make me feel better, and as I said before I CAN be a TAD sarcastic, so maybe they were trying to help sarcastically...not quite sure! I am not sure if it is "weird" that my child is 9 and never been away from home....but for some they have already gone through it...I thought those friends would have been a bit more sympathetic and helpful. I have had a few hurtful comments the past few days about Hunter being away and such. Lets just all remember...everyone goes through different stages of life at different times. I have never worked since I have had kids...I am with them 24/7. I have never traveled without them, I am not happy to send them away with friends...does that make me a "freak"? To love my kids and want to be with them? ( I am sure this will bite me in the butt when they go off to college too)
Now I must admit...I have been a TINY BIT emotional through all this...so I might be taking things wrong...and they might just be joking and sarcastic...which I usually can take :-) But I must say my feelings have been a bit hurt :-(
But that is okay...Hunter comes home today and we are all SUPER HAPPY here! I am praising God for getting me through this rough time. I have learned so many things...Even though my friends didn't come through as I expected...GOD DID! HE always does :-) That makes me super happy...even though I might not have been as faithful the past few months with my quiet times and bible readings and alone time with God...HE still came through for me!
SO....I WILL SURVIVE! With God by my side!
PS....yesterday was my 10 year wedding anniversary with my best friend of 22 years :-) God has blessed me SO much with a wonderful husband...he is really great and helpful and a lot of fun! We ended up taking the other 2 girls to Sioux Falls for an afternoon of shopping at the mall and dinner at Olive Garden....to those of you who know we are on a strict 30 day diet...we totally broke it last night! I must say I feel a bit BLAH today, but we had a ton of fun, so it was all worth it....I did an extra workout this morning too to help ;-)
Monday, July 11, 2011
OH NO!!!! I'm one of "THOSE" mom's!
Well as I reflect on the happenings of this past weekend and this morning I have come to realize I am one of "those" mom's. You know...those crazy emotional mom's who cry over every little part of their kids growing up? One of those mom's who hide notes in their kids lunches as suitcase as you send them off to camp....YUP...one of "those" mom's!
I'm not sure about all of you, but growing up I thought my mom was EMBARRASSING!!!! (now mom, don't get your feelings hurt...I think all kids think that of their mom) I always told myself "When I have kids I am going to be the COOLEST mom ever! I am not going to embarrass them, or make them feel weird. I am going to be confident and totally AWESOME!" Now some of you might be thinking this is some of that sarcasm I was talking about...but sadly no...this is what I thought :-)
Well I still think I am a pretty COOL/AWESOME mom ;-)! (please don't burst my bubble) But this past weekend/Monday brought a lot of milestones I was not ready for :-(
My youngest Cuckles lost her first tooth! Now I know it is a cool thing, and she was SUPER excited and all...but it was my LAST first tooth ever! (unless by God's grace we can save up enough money to adopt) No more "first" lost teeth :-( EVER!!!! Do you hear what I am saying??? EVER!!!! Alright...now some of you might think I have totally lost it...or am totally crazy! I must admit it is a little of both :-)
Today I put my oldest Hunter on a bus to go to church camp! In Rapid City...6 1/2 hours away!!! Now I know she is going to have a totally awesome time! I am praying so hard that she sees God in a way she has never before. I know she believes in God and she was baptized, and she loves God....but I don't think she has ever EXPERIENCED God! Not sure if you all know what I mean...but I hope so :-) So I am praying that she experiences God in a personal way :-)
Now she is 9 and this is the FIRST time EVER she has been away from home (for more than 4 hours). We have always had slumber parties over here...probably because I have achieved that COOL MOM status ( again don't burst my bubble)! She has gone to play at friends houses and such...but like I said no longer than 4 hours....and she was IN TOWN!!!! So today we reached the milestone of sending my child off to camp....6 1/2 HOURS AWAY!!!!! I know I have said that before, but I really think this is helping me :-)
So yesterday ALL afternoon I cried knowing she was going to be gone....It took EVERYTHING in my (God's) power to have me not follow the bus out of the church parking lot this morning :-) So...why am I having such a hard time?
This whole ordeal has got me talking pretty honestly with God :-) But unfortunately He has talked VERY honestly back to me! But I guess if you can dish it out you better be prepared to take it right????
First off...since all these milestones have gotten me totally emotional....I have noticed I have been praying a lot more :-) Which is good yes...but I realized....I need to be talking to God like this ALL the time...not just when I am upset and desperate and totally insane! Don't get me wrong...those are GREAT times to go to God...but shouldn't be the ONLY time....well in my case it is not the only time, but I am more passionate about those times :-)
Second...God is in control...Hunter is God's child, not mine...He gave her to me to take care of and teach and love...but ultimately she is His Child. Now I have heard "you must give your children back to God" Which I have done....mentally :-) I have never had to physically GIVE my child over to God's care! And it is KILLING me :-) Not that I don't know HE will protect her and be with her and take care of her...I know that....so why is it so hard?
Also....I seemed to notice in the parking lot at the church this morning...most parents were excited to send their kids to camp...to get a break and relax and such....which to me seems pretty normal. So again I find myself as one of "those" moms...totally crazy and sad because my daughter is gone...I have 2 more here at home who will keep me VERY busy....so why am I missing 1 so much...knowing she is safe, and having the time of her life?
Now I must point out...I did NOT cry as she got on the bus and as the bus pulled out...and I did NOT follow the bus ;-) So I am making some sort of progress....right? And those notes I hid in her suitcase and lunch box and journal...and everywhere I could think of :-) Won't send her to therapy...they will help her! Because I am sure when it is bedtime if she is not TOTALLY wiped out...she will miss me...a little...right??? (if you don't think so please keep that comment to yourself)
I'm not sure about all of you, but growing up I thought my mom was EMBARRASSING!!!! (now mom, don't get your feelings hurt...I think all kids think that of their mom) I always told myself "When I have kids I am going to be the COOLEST mom ever! I am not going to embarrass them, or make them feel weird. I am going to be confident and totally AWESOME!" Now some of you might be thinking this is some of that sarcasm I was talking about...but sadly no...this is what I thought :-)
Well I still think I am a pretty COOL/AWESOME mom ;-)! (please don't burst my bubble) But this past weekend/Monday brought a lot of milestones I was not ready for :-(
My youngest Cuckles lost her first tooth! Now I know it is a cool thing, and she was SUPER excited and all...but it was my LAST first tooth ever! (unless by God's grace we can save up enough money to adopt) No more "first" lost teeth :-( EVER!!!! Do you hear what I am saying??? EVER!!!! Alright...now some of you might think I have totally lost it...or am totally crazy! I must admit it is a little of both :-)
Today I put my oldest Hunter on a bus to go to church camp! In Rapid City...6 1/2 hours away!!! Now I know she is going to have a totally awesome time! I am praying so hard that she sees God in a way she has never before. I know she believes in God and she was baptized, and she loves God....but I don't think she has ever EXPERIENCED God! Not sure if you all know what I mean...but I hope so :-) So I am praying that she experiences God in a personal way :-)
Now she is 9 and this is the FIRST time EVER she has been away from home (for more than 4 hours). We have always had slumber parties over here...probably because I have achieved that COOL MOM status ( again don't burst my bubble)! She has gone to play at friends houses and such...but like I said no longer than 4 hours....and she was IN TOWN!!!! So today we reached the milestone of sending my child off to camp....6 1/2 HOURS AWAY!!!!! I know I have said that before, but I really think this is helping me :-)
So yesterday ALL afternoon I cried knowing she was going to be gone....It took EVERYTHING in my (God's) power to have me not follow the bus out of the church parking lot this morning :-) So...why am I having such a hard time?
This whole ordeal has got me talking pretty honestly with God :-) But unfortunately He has talked VERY honestly back to me! But I guess if you can dish it out you better be prepared to take it right????
First off...since all these milestones have gotten me totally emotional....I have noticed I have been praying a lot more :-) Which is good yes...but I realized....I need to be talking to God like this ALL the time...not just when I am upset and desperate and totally insane! Don't get me wrong...those are GREAT times to go to God...but shouldn't be the ONLY time....well in my case it is not the only time, but I am more passionate about those times :-)
Second...God is in control...Hunter is God's child, not mine...He gave her to me to take care of and teach and love...but ultimately she is His Child. Now I have heard "you must give your children back to God" Which I have done....mentally :-) I have never had to physically GIVE my child over to God's care! And it is KILLING me :-) Not that I don't know HE will protect her and be with her and take care of her...I know that....so why is it so hard?
Also....I seemed to notice in the parking lot at the church this morning...most parents were excited to send their kids to camp...to get a break and relax and such....which to me seems pretty normal. So again I find myself as one of "those" moms...totally crazy and sad because my daughter is gone...I have 2 more here at home who will keep me VERY busy....so why am I missing 1 so much...knowing she is safe, and having the time of her life?
Now I must point out...I did NOT cry as she got on the bus and as the bus pulled out...and I did NOT follow the bus ;-) So I am making some sort of progress....right? And those notes I hid in her suitcase and lunch box and journal...and everywhere I could think of :-) Won't send her to therapy...they will help her! Because I am sure when it is bedtime if she is not TOTALLY wiped out...she will miss me...a little...right??? (if you don't think so please keep that comment to yourself)
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About Me
- Diana Onderick
- I am a daughter of The Most High, wife, and homeschooling mom.